Monday 20 June 2011

when you see my face hope it gives you hell

i'm being played. i know i am. i get pissed off with him and then he does something to make me upset and we stop speaking and i get all sad and think how stupid i am for letting him go. then he texts me, doesn't understand what he's done wrong. i forgive him and we chat as normal then he starts talking about sex then we argue then the whole cycle starts again.

my friends are fed up with it and they're trying to come up with ways for me to get rid of him. i can't tell them that i want him. they wouldn't take that very well haha.

but the only thing he does that's good for me is that sick feeling you get when you really like someone. you can't eat. you can't think. and with my granny's anniversary coming up on friday. . thinking's the last thing i want to do! i know he's playing me and i keep trying to kid myself that he does like me. . ugh i hate this. but i love the things he tells me. like i'm pretty and one of the most beautiful girls he's seen and how he hates that i think i need to change. wish i knew he was serious.

Sunday 19 June 2011

exit wounds - the script

my hands are cold, my body's numb, i'm still in shock, what have you done? my head is pounding, my visions blurred. your mouth is moving, i don't hear a word. and i hurt so bad, that i search my skin for the entry point, where love went in and ricoshad and bounced around and left a hole, when you walked out.

i'm falling through the doors of the emergency room. can anybody help me with these exit wounds? i don't know how much more love this heart can lose. and i'm dying, dying from the exit wounds. where they're leaving, the scars you're keeping. exit wounds

marks of battle, they still feel raw. a million pieces of me, on the floor. i'm damaged goods, for all to see. now who would ever wanna, be with me? i've got all the baggage, drink, the pills. yeah this is living but without the will. i'm backing out, i'm shutting down. you left a hole, when you walked out yeah.

i'm falling through the doors of the emergency room. can anybody help me with these exit wounds?  i don't know how much more love this heart can lose. and i'm dying, dying from the exit wounds. where they're leaving, the scars you're keeping. exit wounds.

lose your clothes and show your scars that's who you are. marks of battle, they still feel raw. a million pieces of me, on the floor.

i'm falling through the doors of the emergency room. can anybody help me with these exit wounds?  i don't know how much more love this heart can lose. and i'm dying, dying from the exit wounds. where they're leaving, the scars you're keeping. exit wounds.

Tuesday 7 June 2011

you made me who i am, from the words you said..

my first exam is monday. i'm stressed out. i can't sleep. i can't think. i can't eat. i don't want to go out. i juss wanna stay sat at my desk and study all day. it's become an obssesion. i get really freaked out if i don't have at least nine hours of studying done. my mum said she's worried about me. i can see why. i've become a ghost of what i used to be. i dont know if its ana doing this to me. or myself. but either way, i kind of like it.

and in the middle of it all, i think i'm falling for someone. i really shouldn't be falling for him. and i'm scared to tell my friends cause i know what their reactions will be.

in ten days time i'll be free from all this stress and worry. and in ten days time summer will have officially started. i'm more than ready for it.!