Thursday 31 March 2011

Roman catholic choirs are singing

Life is so eventful! I promise, I'll update soon. This is a quickie from my iPod!

Ps. I have tonsillitis. Meaning it's impossible to eat. Meaning I'm being encouraged to fast. Resultt :D

Ps. Again. My French teacher should fuck herself. In my French presentation, I wrote about eating disorders and what triggers them. I wrote how I don't think the media is that much of an influence. Mainly as I don't see the media as one of my main triggers. I understand that there are beautiful, delicate girls inside the covers of a magazine, but I also see beautiful, delicate girls at the shop, at school, on the bus. Everywhere. This made me interested, do you my lovelies think similair to me and don't see the media as a major trigger?

-xe

Thursday 24 March 2011

love is evol. spell it backwards

i've never been as embarresed in my life! so many reasons too!

firstly, for any of you lovelies who recieved a bbm from me saying something like 'sit on my face and lick my bum'. sorry! that wasn't me! my friends thought they were being funny -_-

secondly, they textedd that to someone in my phone book and his younger brother started texting me after and he asked me to meet him and stuff. and we were just textin nothing creepy though and we'd plannned to meet up this weekend, but then i found out - he's my second cousin! i almost dropped. my friends think it's hilarious. but what do they know -_-

well, know that's my recent embarresments out of the way.. i'm going to an open day at my local womens only gym next weekend. i cannnot wait because its near my bus stop after school so i'll go for a bit afterschool everyday and my mum saidd she'll pay some of the cost too! ahh. i'm so excited!

this is onlly a short update for you beauts. so 'til tomorrow
-xe♥

Sunday 20 March 2011

you're way to young to fall apart.

it's official. ive came to that point in my life where i just want everything to fix its self up. i'm fed up trying to please other people and im fed up with the way my life is. my mum wants me to be skinnier, smarter and she wants me to get a job. i'm destined to be fat for the rest of my life. i know i am. i'm going to fail my As exams and i know for a fact i'll never be able to get a job! I have so much pressure on me to do well in life. to be this thing i'm not. but it's the thing i want to be.

i wish i had control over everything, all these thoughts that are going on in my head. the way i look. how smart i am. well i've decided. i can try. no more being the fat, average friend. tomorrow, the new me is going to shine through. i'm going to fast. for one week. then the abc diet. one hour in the morning on my excercise bike and half an hour before bed. i'm going to do four hours of studying at night time. i just need help with a study plan. ughh.. :(

-xe♥

Saturday 19 March 2011

we like to sleep all day and party all night

this past week has been so tragic. i ate one mean a day monday and tuesday and wednesday. then from wednesday night it's all gone down hill. thursday was st paddy's. so me and my friends went out on wenesday night. it was such a disaster. no joke. my 'best friend.' just left us and never told us she was going home so we spent ages looking for her then by the time we had to leave, all the taxis had gone so we, Me, B, N and DD had to walk to the end of the lane to a garage. normally i wouldn't have minded but when it's raining, youre only wearing a skirt, vest top and a pair of 4 inch heels, its 1:45 am and there's a shit ton of drunken fights happening, it's quite scary. so we had to wait at the garge for an hour, phoning everyone we could think of to come get us. but eventually we got a taxi!

thursday, said 'best friend' started an arguement about why i'd drunk texted her last night. i didn't realise i had until i'd read my messages (oops!) but in all fairness, drunk me had a point..
'Yeaa. never worry. we got home ok! LOL JK. we're fuckin waitin in the fuckin rain at the fuckin garage and there's no fuckin taxis!' 
i admit i kinda overused 'fuckin'. but she started an arguement about how she'd phoned me. but she didn't phone me til she'd got home and we were already out in the rain. but yea. i got drunk again. St. Paddy's day FTW. :P

think i'm going to save my money, calories, whatever. until after my exams. ughh. i've got so much work t do and not enough time. i have no idea where to start. so if any of you darlings are great at organising out stuff and you want to help me. then pleaseee comment, i'd greatly appreciate it!

-xe♥

Saturday 12 March 2011

here's to the future, cause i'm done with the past.

i haven't posted a proper blog in a while. it's 7:50 am on a saturday morning and ive been awake for near two hours. i'm in such a bad mood i cant sleep. all i want to do is eat. try and fill the emptyness inside. but my mind is screaming 'stop' and 'put it down!' but it's like my hands are on autopilate grabbing everything they can to shove into my mouth. then once i've eaten. i feel so worse. my body doesnt let me purge any more. i'm such a failure.

in my last blog i mentioned how Hazel Stewart got sent down. i can't even begin to describe how happy i am. but seriously google her. incase you don't know the whole shabang, i'll explain briefly :
Colin Howell and Hazel Stewart were having an affair. Colin ohwell killed his wife then killed Hazel Stewart's husband. he put their bodies in a car and filled it with exhaust pipe fumes to make it look like suicide. 16 years passed and then in 2007, Colin Howells son was killed in Russia and he also lost millions and was in debt so he confessed to the police. he got life. then,  a few weeks ago, Hazel Stewart was in court she pleaded not guilty but she was found to be guilty as she provided the drugs for Colin Howell, she cleaned up after him gave him clean clothes to wear. this has been the biggest shit to come out of northern ireland since the troubles.

i've also lost nearly all my friends through no fault of my own. they basically tried to steal £30 off me. i know it's not that much but £30 is £30. that could buy alot of vodka. (which all i seem to want to do these days, ddown bottles of vodka)

i got my school report in and i got a B in RE, a B in french and a C in geography. i was actually so extatic. :D i just needa work my ass off and get all my grades up for june :)

i think that's everything. if it's not i'll just blog again.
-xe♥

Sunday 6 March 2011

Friends are for people who aren't strong enough to do it alone.
Friends abandon you when you need the most.
Friends lie.
Friends shouldn't exist.
Friends steal.
Friends make you feel crap about yourself.
Friends are wankers.

They don't need me and I sure as fuck don't need them!

Side note: my iPod corrects wankers to ramjets. I wishwishwish I had an iPhone.

Wednesday 2 March 2011

Short update

This is more of a short post. I'll update a longer one later.

Birthday - 42 days away
Holiday - 112

Weight needs to be gone by my holiday at least. It would be nice for my birthday. But at least my holiday would be nice.

Hazel Stewart got life. YES!!!!

Tuesday 1 March 2011