around a year ago i had a dream. i was standing in a field with bright green grass full of daisies. i started walking, looking for a way to leave the field when i seen a tree. i decided to sit under the tree and just watched the few stratus clouds that passed by gently. in the distance, i seen a girl walking towards me. she was absolutely beautiful. she had long blonde hair, blue eyes and she was the skinniest girl i've ever met, her thighs didn't meet and she basically looked like an angel. i felt a pang of jealousy, i felt like i wasn't good enough to be in her presence. and when she started talking to me, i didn't feel like i was good enough to talk to her either. but then she startedd getting angry at me. she said i disappointed her and that i had potential.
i woke up the next morning. i looked in the mirror. i grabbed on to my fat and began pulling at it, as if it would somehow disappear the harder i tugged at it.
and bam...
then as time passed, i fell out with my best friend. i began telling myself we fell out because i was fat and if i was skinny we would still be friends. i went through a really bad time. hardly eating. eventually my mum began noticing so i forced my self to eat during the day and i cried my self to sleep at night. every friday morning i had PE in school. i was too embarresed to get changed infront of everyone so i told my mum i felt sick. she didn't believe me so i made myself sick. then i realised, if i eat normally and then purge no one will notice.
a few weeks ago i went to the dentist. turns out all that purging made my teeth all disgusting. i had ten cavaties. the acid from my stomach damaged my teeth. i thought that it was only a myth.
Purging ruins your teeth.
so now, i'm more determined than ever to reach my goals so that ruining my teeth won't have been in vain.
-xe
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