i'm so sorry for all that i've done. i'm so sorry for what i've become.

admitedly, i've changed so much in the past few months. and i appologise for my lack of blog posts. i've been busy and i'm sorry! but i'm back and i promise to post as often as i can!

everyone hates me for changing.. i can tell.. i dye my hair, i'm continuously covered inn fake tan, i've just ordered a head of hair extensions, i'm never without my false eyelashes. i'm fake. and i know why. i can't handle people knowing who i am. so somehow, in my head it makes sense that if i cover what i really look like, people won't know that i'm damaged goods, that i'm broken into a million pieces, that ana has taken over my life. . i look at my friends and im filled with jealousy. they're happy. genuinely happy. that's the one thing i want from life. to be happy. i dont care if i end up living in a council house, just scraping by. i'd rather be like that than living the life of the rich and famous and miserable. as long as i'm happy i'll be content.

i'm starting the abc diet tomorrow. . i'm excited to do it. :D