how can you sleep while the rest of us cry?

i've attempted to write a blog for the past week. but i've made so many failed attempts. i can't seem to do anything right at the moment. i can't blog. i can't fast. i can't have a decent relationship with my family. i can't do school work. i can't even purge. how pathetic am i?

no matter where i go these days my eating disorder is staring me right in the face. re class. 

'asceticism is the practice of renouncing world pleasures ... it focuses on chastity, fasting and abstinence, in the belief that purifying the body helps to purify the soul.'

in all seriousness. it's like the celtic monks from the 4th and 5th century have focused everything around fasting. i know you's prolly dont want a history lesson of christianity in ireland, but its like these people fasted for reasons quite similiar to many ana's - for perfection.

in french, my oral presentation is all about eating disorders. i wrote down everything that was in my head in english and then i threw in a few facts and figures and then translated it to french. 

'your work is so interresting to read. and i can tell that you've done alot of research for this. you should be proud of this piece of work erin!'

that's not research. that's experience.

there's a girl who's began following my blog. and she added me a few days ago on bbm and last night we had a nice chat on bbm. it actually feels so good to be able to talk to someone about my eating disorder and know that i'll not be judged by the person i'm talking to. and she's lovely too! seriously go check out her blog justwant2bfree

i appologise for how this blog has been thrown together with all mismatched aspects. i just cannot be bothered thinking.

-xe♥