last night when i went to bed, i had 8 followers. i just signed in and now i have 12!
thanks for the follows. :) i'm only posting a quick blog now then i'm going to check out your blogs!

i feel embarresed writing. like i'm not good enough. you'll all laugh at me. i'm not strong enough. i managed to fast up until 4:30 pm. when i came home from school. i was sitting in my living room watching last weeks glee. when all of a sudden, i felt this pang of anger. i walked out to my kitchen and opened the cupboard. 1 pack of crips. 2 packs of crisps. three. that wasn't enough. opened the biscuit tin. a penguin biscuit. a twix finger. a pack of mini hobnobs. still not enough. i opened another cupboard. a tin of beans.

a fucking horrible binge.

it's been months since i last purged after a binge. it's been months since i last had a binge like that. i ran up stairs and fell at the toilet. i put my two fingers down my throat. once. twice. three times. but i couldn't purge. i heaved. quite alot of times. after half an hour of trying to purge i gave up. it just wasnt happening. i sat on the floor with mmy back to the bathroomm door. my knees hunched up and my face tear stained, poking at the flab rolls on my stomach. all of this because of anger. i was angry before. now i'm fucking furious. with my self. with school. with friends. with life in general.

it's official. i've hit rock bottom. and there's no way for me to get up from here.